1. me at the store: do i want some snacks? nah it's ok
  2. me at home: past me was a fucking dumbass

loop-zoop:

i want this to replace the john cena jokes

halalturk:

theshitneyspears:

“is that you?”
“……………….yah.”

this is the best thing I watched today

  1. someone: you're pretentious
  2. me, sprawled out on a bed of roses, reading oscar wilde and sipping champagne: oh?
reblog if it’s okay to IM you

seasonsgreasons:

its okay to Immediately Murder me even if we aren’t mutuals